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Poems
by
Hope Houghton
The
Wrong Car
well, you've
got to believe me
we're riding in the wrong car again
peggy
was always so wonderfully honest
except when she needed to
survive for one more day
she talks to me in the
backseat
you know that i'm slipping away again
it's the
wall street wednesday wrestler
he wants me to try harder to
fight back
well, you've got to believe me
we're
riding in the wrong car again
she whispers as she rubs her
thin pale arms
mr. cul-de-sac tries so hard to be truthful
as
much as his prudish wife will allow
till he needs me some more
this week
and she shivers as the sunrise hits
her
stuffing her cold hands under her legs
she cries that
she's slipping away again
staring down at her stained red
dress
remembering the high school teacher
who thought he
could teach her something new
peggy laughs as she tells me
there is nothing new
well, you've got to believe
me
we're riding in the wrong car again
she shouts back to
me as she leaves the car
putting on her black leather
raincoat
on her way to meet sam the dentist
he
likes her to drown for him on sundays
she hopes one day she
can be honest
but she knows she's slipped too far away
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Bring
Back My Son
waves
of devils and their kin
lick and eat, tear off my skin
as i
walk through hell again
knowing i am cursed as i burn
still
i can't wake up this time
bring back my son
morning
light screams aloud
the earth has stopped, turned around
still
there is spinning in my head
and i can't remember where my god
has gone
death and plague
collapses in the
brain
no one can explain
what has happened to my
son
there's a lullaby heard
in a vacant board
book
sung by every other child but mine
and the ripped out
pages on the floor
won't allow me to forget what's wrong
and
i can't go back, i can't go forward
and i don't go home, not
in the now
so i wander from face to face, eye to eye
but i
never look up to the sky
cause i don't want to see him in this
life
so, i'll break my body almost in two
removing
my mind and soul from the room
as i try to get through one
more day
bleeding myself, purging the pain
waiting to hear
from my son, anything
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Trees
in the Brain
clatter,
chatter, shatter
you see i'm all mixed
up
trees growing in my head
branches breaking my brain
i
can't make sense of anything
noises, voices, feelings,
faces
and i'm getting sick from the pain
think i'm scared
to walk in the rain
can feel myself crumbling
a
pile of dust on the floor
can't seem to pull myself
together
and i'm waiting for someone, maybe him
to see me,
hold me, dream of me
but he doesn't have time anymore
and i
wonder when that became okay
black and blue and
bruised
bet you won't fight again
leaves blinding my
eyes
sap strangling my throat
i tried to separate from the
suffering
but i'm afraid of losing what's me
so i turn my
head down to the ground
decaying a bit more each
day
collapsing inside this skin
as he tells me he loves
me
and i never say a thing
my heart tells me i'm
broken
she's been beaten and battered too
still i'll be
okay, i'll be fine someday
maybe i'm just still a boy
digging
holes in my hands
leaving branding marks
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Cowboys
and Indians
nods
from the manager
as i meet mr. cowboy
in some forgotten
motel
his wedding band still on
cowboys and
indians
never could decide
which team to ride
so i let
both sides
capture me inside
i broke a vow,
caught on fire
born in a tipi, crushed the tribe
ceramic
kin, blood prison
notes stapled to my head
father says i'm
just like him
never wanted to be his indian
can
remember daddy's women
and how he wanted divorce
wanted to
kill the him in me
but hate feels like home
as i
fall into a cowboy's lap
loved his boots and voice
even
after i refused him twice
met mrs. cowboy
today
don't think she knows
as she carried two kids
and
was growing a third
made me sick to feel this pain
as i
relived my mother's cries
still sin fuels this
family
as i chase down that cowboy
begging him to
conquer
an indian girl escaping
she smiles to me, you
know
from that ceiling mirror
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Lucy
waves
of water
rise from the earth
floating in the air
wrapping
me in a wall
smothering me, filling my lungs
i'm scared,
but i can see through
to a calmness, an apple orchard
and a
pair of birds circling above
bristol black days
and
a man i shouldn't have known
drew my plans, forged my
life
from metal, millwork, and madness
he always said he
liked america
lucy, tell me where you're going
but
it's too late, she's already gone
signs of her are
everywhere
waitress in a plaid hat
cleaner with a diver's
watch
and her coat out with the trash
her ghost lingers
still
too lost to know where to go
wanted to fall
since 1914
but couldn't get it right till now
boots and
bullets and bravery
strewn across a watered graveyard
as
people pass and leave bouquets
lucy found her exit at
last
thought she deserved something more
than
this, being just honey and glue
well, that's kind of a
shame
cause i really enjoyed your sin
show me
this heaven
that they speak of
show me this world
they
all dream of
lucy, tell me how brave you are
lucy,
tell me can you keep running
lucy, tell me where you’re
going
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