Two Poems by Russell Evatt: Man as Memory, Lack

Two Poems

by Russell Evatt

Man as Memory

Except now he is

the boy, watching television on a Sunday
with his father in-between trips outside

to play football with the neighborhood
kids. It was fun, certainly, until he stood

before his father’s recliner
and held out his hand, pinkie finger

snapped harshly out of line from the others.
It was numb, as if his hand did not

exist—except it was in front of him,

shaking. The father wrapped his arms
around the boy so he couldn’t move

as the pinkie was popped into place.
And then this hate for football as he looked

at his hand, and now it hurt. But
this would not last, not even until next Sunday.

With fingers taped together he’d be back
outside, however timidly, playing again

because that’s just what he needed,
to get out there, not let anything stop him.

Lack

When I could no longer see
what I wanted, I turned
my gaze to the ground, so as not to step
on the curled snake, that soft
stiffness I had envisioned my foot
pressing on in dreams and picked
my way back, not looking to see
where I was going but watching my
feet instead, always moving away
from what I wanted.
I could not accept the chance again
for I was afraid of what I might do,
for I might not
do anything and then would have
no way of convincing
myself not to return, save thought,
to that place. What I saw was smaller
than it should have been
but not because it was far away.
It was countable. It must be countable
otherwise how many
would there be? I can’t say
but it surfaces
the way skin surfaces, like that
rising from itself. I offer this
for it is what I have. But if you ask
what it is, I’ll tell you
something else, what something else is,
answer something you hadn’t meant
and you, not having even heard
the question I’d answered,
would believe me, for how else to account
for the stillness after speech.

Russell Evatt has a bachelor's degree in English from Texas Tech University and an MFA from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He recently spent a year in Krakow where he received a CELTA certification for teaching English as a foreign language. He then worked at a private language school teaching English and also spent his time studying and taking classes to learn the Polish language. His work has appeared in PANK, Louisville Review, Frostwriting, Blue Earth Review, and Iron Horse Literary Review, among others.

Copyright 2010, Russell Evatt. © This work is protected under the U.S. copyright laws. It may not be reproduced, reprinted, reused, or altered without the expressed written permission of the author.